The bilionaire’s reluctant bride novel - Chapter 49

The room feels having comparatively little size than usual today , as though the walls are closing in around me . It's one of those seldom occuring moments when the heaviness of this marriage seems too much to carry . At the far end of the couch Alexander is having his sit , his posture as stiff as ever , his eyes concentrated attention on the business report in his hands . The burden of his quietness presses against me , and I can't bear it anymore .

" Alexander , " I start , my voice quieter than I intend.I know he heard me but he doesn't look up at me , he's always like this - distant and unreachable . I take a deep breath and try again . " Can we talk ? " Finally , he looks up , his intent look cold but sharp . " About what ? " I can feel the building of the kind of familiar tension that always lingers between us . The space he keeps is so vast and so impenetrable .

But I'm determined to bridge that gap , even if it feels like I'm drowning completely in it . " About us , " I say . " About this marriage . " His jaw close tightly , and for a brief moment , I think he might settle so as to obscure vision and make a retreat into that fortress of ice he's built around himself . But instead , he sets the report aside and leans back against the couch , his eyes moving unsteadily with something - something I can't quite place .

" I don't know what you actually want from me , Leila , " he mutters , his voice lower than usual , almost raw . There's a subtle break in his tone , one that's usually being out of sight beneath the layers of control he wears like armor . " I want … I want to understand you , " I say , my words coming out softer than I expected . " I want to know the kind of person you are , not just the man who runs a billion - dollar empire .

" Alexander's expression hardens , but there's something in his eyes - something capable of being physically or emotionally wounded . It's passing swiftly , but it's there . For the first time , I see a narrow break in his wall . " You don't want to know that , " he says , his voice quiet . " You wouldn't like it . " I swallow hard , not having a foggiest Idea of whether to press further . But something inside me tells me that if I don't , I'll never truly understand him . " Why ?