♡ ( 12 ) ( 0 ) Chapter 15 A little piece of him that I can love forever .

I smile softly .

I imagine the future with just the two of us , and a weird sense of calm falls over UE .

I can do this , me and bub , we will work it out together .

We can build a new life for the two of us .

Gabriel gave me the ultimate gift His child .

Violet MIDNIGHT .

Where darkness lives and anxiety thrives .

Its been four days since I found out I was pregnant .

Four days of swinging between elated and shoved to sorrided and sad I havent told a single soul.

I dont know what to do and Im scared .

The enormity of carrying Gabriel Ferraras baby has just hit me .

He doesnt want me or a child , and having a baby on my own is not something I ever envisaged for myself To be honest , I dont know if I can do it .

This house is big and quiet … and now lonely .

I imagine myself coming home from the hospital with my little bundle of joy all alone , how will that feel ? 1 I see my future of sitting up in the middle of the night and feeding a tiny or isnt his fault or hers .

him .

This poor little baby deserves to have a dad who loves it , thistle baby , nobody to help me , nobody to long i And what do I tell the baby as it grows up ? Daddy wants nothing to do with you .

He wants an Italian baby and you just dont cut it .

The hot tears run down my face and drip into my e eats .

Ive never felt so alone , so confused .

My heartache was bad enough when I thought I just lost him , but now this everything seems magulled it in her grieving my loss of him , that seems irrelevant if Im honest .

Im grieving for my baby and the happy formily him .

I picture the moment when I tell my parents and my brothers that Im pregnant with my former boss bati notter be doesnt want anything to do with me .

My mom will mom will cry , my dad will be outraged with Gabriel .

Everyone will feel sorry for me obr Violet , her boss got drunk at the Christmas party and had her on his desk for kicks , got her mocked in and o nothing to do with her … I hate that its true .

And then theres the Ferraras , Gabriels mother is going to go ballistic .

His father , his brothers and sister … oh god .

I feel sick to my stomach .

The tears flow onto my pillow like a river , my mind is jumping from one nightmare thought to the next and moth how this looks .

A grab for cash from one of Americas wealthiest men , the ultimate trap .

I imagine the tabloids and the media coverage .

Gabriel Ferraras former PA falls pregnant after having sex on his desk at the Christmas party .

I screw up my face in tears..oh my god , this is a disaster of epic proportions .

Gabriels going to hate me , and who could blame him .

All the plans he had for an Italian family … his hopes and dreams altered forever too .

I close my eyes at the horror , how the hell did I let this happen ? Why didnt my pill work ? Whats the damn point of taking it if the fucker doesnt work ? Everything is changed now , and I cant take it back no matter how much I want to .

This isnt how I imagined my life would go , Im supposed to be happy and fulfilled , feeling safe and secure , building a and a home with a man that I love .

My husband 1 roll onto my side and curl up in a ball as I try to protect myself from my own thoughts .

I have to talk to someone ; I have to get out of my own head , I cant keep going round and round like this .

Tomorrow Ill talk to Deb , shell know what to do .

10 am , I sit in the café ; the morning sun is beaming onto the bench seat through the window as I wait .

Theres a window planter box with pansies in every color , and the village feels alive .

The two coffees , the waitress says as she puts them down on the table .

Thank you .

I smile .

Things look better today .

Along with the sunlight , I feel stronger .

But thats how I seem to roll at the moment , brave by day .

terrified all night .

My favorite thing about Greenville is my best friend , Deb .

She also happens to be my cousin and the reason I found this plat Avas her wedding that I came here for five years ago , and from the moment I stepped out of the car , I instantly fell in love with the place .

Deb married a local boy she met at college , his name is Scott and this is his hometown , they moved back here permanently after their wedding .

Deb bounces through the door and her broad smile lights up the entire cafe .

Hey you .

She trips on a chair leg as she s and stumbles .

Sorry , she apologizes to the person who was nearly thrown out of their chair .

I giggle at her dramatic entrance .

Hi .

Deb is how can I explain her ? Chicken soup for my soul for everyones soul .

Blond and pretty with a can do attitude to everything .

She kisses my cheek and sits down .

Tell me you have good news .

sees m What ? Well ..

Her eyes dance with excitement .

You said you had something to tell me .

He called , didnt he ? I stare at her as my brain misfires .

Oh … I knew he would .

She smiles .

I knew he would come back begging on his knees .

I exhale heavily , one thing about Deb is shes the ultimate optimist .

He didnt call .

ong with this dickhead , why didnt he call ? She sips her coffee You He didnt call ? She scrunches up her nose .

Whats wrong know , you keep saying this Gabriel Ferrara is super intelligent , Im finding it very hard to believe .

1 exhale heavily .

Well ..

She sips her coffee again .

What do you have to tell me ? Im pregnant , I blurt out .

She puts her coffee cup down onto the table with a thud and coffee sloshies over the side .

What do you mean ? What else could I mean ? Im pregnant .

Are you sure ? Positive , Ive done six tests .

Chapter 15 Her eyes widen .

Its his ? Well … I havent had sex with anyone else , have 17 Tuck .

She puts her hands up to her temples as her eyes hold mine .

When did you find this out ? Monday .

Its Saturday .

She frowns .

Yes .

so ? So you havent told me for five fucking days ? I was trying to get my head around it .

Fuck , she whispers as her head begins to catch up .

Oh fuck … Violet .

You said that already , I snap .

What did he say ? Gabriel ? Yeah .

He doesnt know .

He doesnt know .

She gasps loudly .

Sshh .

I look around at the people in the tiny café .

And neither does anyone else .

Keep your voice down Oh my god , she whispers .

He doesnt know .

She puts her head into her hands .

He didnt wear a condom ? No.

She holds up her hands in question .

Im on the pill .

You forgot to take it , didnt you ? No.

I did not forget to take it , I snap .

Well , how ..

? I dont fucking know , okay .

I cut her off .

All I know is it happened and now Im pregnant and I have no idea what to do , and if your reaction is anything to go by , I am totally fucking screwed .

Sorry .

She winces as she sits back in her chair .

Tm just shocked .

She puffs air into her cheeks .

Its a shock .

For me too .

We sit for a moment and both sip our coffee .

What are you going to do ? she asks .

I dont know .

Chapter 15 Are you … Im having the baby .

I finish her sentence .

Her eyes hold mine .

Deb .

Im twenty nine , Im very single , and who knows , this might be my last chance and ..

I shrug , lost for words , Im having it .

Okay .

She nods .

Well ..

Congrats … I guess .

She gives me a lopsided smile .

Ahanks … I guess .

When are you going to tell him ? she asks .

I exhale heavily .

I dont know .

I think for a moment .

I dont know if its the hormones or whats going on , but I feel so vulnerable and fragile .

Im not sure I could even see him at the moment without having a full mental breakdown , and thats without the baby .

Deb gives me a sad smile and takes my hand in hers .

Have you been to the doctors , like is it confirmed confirmed ? Well , Ive done six pregnancy tests and they were all positive , and its been seven weeks since we had sex .

So if I were a betting man .

I would bet that youre seven weeks pregnant ? Deb thinks out loud .

* Last time I looked youre not a better or a man .

I hope your baby has your wit , she mutters dryly .

Or not .

I exhale heavily as I think about the next steps I have to go through .

Tll go to the doctor on Monday .

Ill come with you.

She squeezes my hand in hers .

A baby , she whispers as she hunches her shoulders up .

This is a little bit exciting .

For the first time , a glimmer of hope runs through me , and I smile .

Maybe .

Its positive .

Dr.

Moran smiles .

Congratulations , Violet , you are eight weeks pregnant .

My stomach flutters as if this is the first time I have heard it .

-Thank you .

Ill write you a referral for an obstetrician .

He begins to type into his computer .

Ring in the next few days and make an appointment for when you are twelve weeks along .

Ive also written a pathology request for some blood tests , get those done before your appointment .

Okay .

He gets out a little wheel thing and spins it .

in it .

I have your your due date estimate as te as the tw twenty seventh of September .

Oh .

I smile goofily.

Okay .

Z Chapter 15 Deb bojinces in her chair beside me , unable to luide her excitement .

Is this really happening ? Any questions? the doctor asks .

No.

I stand .

Thank you , Congratulations again .

He smiles .

Thanks .

I walk back to the car in a daze , Deb is chatting on and on but I hardly hear a word shes saying Im having a baby .

His baby .

I put my hand over my stomach , a little piece of Gabriel is growing inside of me right now .

Are you going to open the door ? Huh ? I glance up .

Deb widens her eyes .

Unlock the car .

Oh .

Right .

I unlock the car and stare down at it .

Do you want me to drive ? she asks , Maybe .

Im so distracted .

No shit .

The drive home is made in silence , well , not really , because Deb is chatting away and having a conversation , but I dont hear a word .

Im lost .

My mind is swinging between fear to the dream that he really loved me and maybe this baby was meant to be .

I get a vision of him being excited and lifting me up in the air and swinging me around as we laugh .

Earth to Violet .

She waves her hand in front of my face .

Are you even listening ? Oh , sorry .

I glance over at her , almost embarrassed by my fantasy .

What ? You need to go to New York and tell him .

I know .

I just need to get my head around it first .

No.

You need to get your head around it together .

My stomach sinks bermuse I know hes going to be devastated and Im survive it .

ot sure I can handle one more rejection from him and Dub asks .

Where ? Chapter 15 To New York .

she says .

Then if things turn to shit we can at least have a few days in New York shopping and drinking cocktails .

I look at her deadpan .

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